10 Reasons to Love "Mennonite In A Little Black Dress"

There are a lot (a lot!) of reasons to love "Mennonite in a Little Black Dress" by Rhoda Janzen but here I will pick out ten in the hope that this will convince to read this brilliant book:

1) Janzen grew up in a Mennonite community, left it to become an academic and then went back home to cook and write a fantastic memoir when her hapless husband Nick left her for a guy named Bob that he met on gay.com. She rocks.

2) This quote from page 24: "I hope it's clear by now that the Mennonites wouldn't want me. The only reason they're nice to me is that my dad is famous, my mom makes great pie, and I babysat their kids when I was twelve."

3) Her take on men (from page 62): "Hannah's husband was fabulous. Among Phil's many excellent qualities was the expression of zero interest in leaving his wife for a guy he had met on Gay.com."

4) She manages to make Germanic food such as Platz, Borscht and persimmon cookies sound oddly attractive and I did actually buy persimmons to try the recipes at the back of the book. Thanks Rhoda's mom!

5) Her musings on modern womanhood (page 166): "Consider how impossible it is, for example, to aspire to the role of virtuous woman when professional commitments dramatically interfere with jam delivery to oldsters."

6) Her musings on what makes a man sexy (page 203): "In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humour, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants."

7) Her observations on the sorority that she is faculty adviser to (page 210): "One twelve-degree evening in February, when there was eight inches of snow under a layer of slippery drizzle, my sorority gals celebrated their fellowship by donning denim minis, pink tights, and stilettos."

8) Her explanation of the difference between Amish and Mennonite (page 226): "But the Amish cut away from the Mennonites in 1693 because the rest of us were too liberal. That's rich, no? A liberal Mennonite is an oxymoron if ever there was one."

9) The way she manages her mother who is a typical, practical Mennonite woman who at times approaches life in a different way: "If your mother takes a frozen uncooked chicken in her suitcase to Hawaii, all bets are off. You just go with the flow."

10) The fact that she manages to tell a tragic story about a woman who looks after and takes care of her mentally frail husband who then leaves her when she herself is at her most fragile without letting the grief and the unfairness take over. Instead she turns it into a story about life,  hope and looking towards the future, she is an inspiration.

"Mystics, Mavericks and Merrymakers" by Stephanie Wellen Levine

Ever read a book that had you gripping it tightly with anticipation? That was so full of emotions, actions, excitement that whenever you weren't reading the book, you were thinking about the book? A book that left you wanting more and made you yearn for a sequel? 

I read a book like that recently and much to your surprise, it was a non-fiction book. Probably the most gripping non-fiction I have ever read and definitely one of the best books I have read in 2012. "Mystics, Mavericks and Merrymakers: A Intimate Journey Among Hasidic Girls" by Stephanie Wellen Levine is a master piece in its genre. Having studied psychology, I have read a good number of similar books and this one stands out because it is written with passion, with a true interest and love by an author who can write. Levine is more than just a researcher, writing an academic text, she is an author chronicling lives. 

The lives she chronicles are those of Hasidic, Lubavitch teenage girls who live in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, in a tight-knit, highly orthodox Jewish community. Everything in their lives is centered around the Jewish, Hasidic faith. They go to the Bais Rivka high school, a girls only school where they are required to very kosher clothes - no pants but long skirts and shirts covering their elbows. They obey the kosher food rules and have pizza at a local Hasidic pizzeria, where although both girls and boys come there, they talk only to other girls. A good Hasidic girl does not interact with males outside of her immediate family. 
They have hopes and dreams, the listen to music and watch movies (albeit only approved, Jewish music and movies) and they love shopping. However, in all of this their focus is on their God and while other, "normal" teenage girls might discuss hot boys and dating, these girls are more likely to discuss whether the Rebbe, a central religious leader, is the Messiah. Dating is not an issue for these girls because a majority of them will meet their future husband through a matchmaker and will marry him in a traditional, gender-segregated Lubavitch ceremony after as little as three dates. Falling in love is not a goal, growing to love your spouse is. 

This might make it sound like all of these girls are alike but nothing could be further from the truth. In this book, Levine introduces her reader to the a group of girls as individual as they come. There is the rebel who reads Satre and Freud, a rebel who works as a waitress in a strip club to fund her rent and college tuition. There's the academic, high-achieving golden girl who wants to train as a doctor and raise a traditional Lubavitch family at the same time. There's the normal girl whose frustrated mother sometimes takes her anger out in violence against her children. There's the highly religious girl who sometimes, secretly wishes she was a boy so that she could study the Torah instead of doing womanly chores such as cooking and cleaning. There's the girl whose faith is so unwavering that she wants to leave the safety of the community to spread the word about Lubavitch in faraway places where she and her husband will be the only Lubavitchers. 
It is a stunning insight into their lives. A fascinating, easily readable, tale of the strength of young women. Of their resourcefulness and intelligence and big hearts. Reading this inspired me and left me full of hope and love for the young women of today who have so many expectations forced upon them from media and society and yet manage to emerge as strong women. 

Read it if: You find teenage girls and their hopes and dream interesting. You want insight into a very different culture, thriving in the midst of New York. You want something to juxtapose the vacuousness of shows such as Gossip Girl and 90210, something with a bit more bite and a bit more value. 

"The Lonely Polygamist" by Barry Udall

Sometimes a man wants to come to home from a hard day's work to a little peace and quiet. I imagine. Golden Richards does not have that luxury, ever. With three households, four wives and a large number of children, peace is a highly rated commodity last seen three marriages and a large number of children ago. Mayhem, chaos, screaming and living room races are the order of the day, yet in the midst of all of this life, Golden Richards is a lonely man. A lonely polygamist. 

If you have read "The 19th Wife" by David Ebershoff or "The Chosen One" by Carol Lynch Williams you might have a pretty bad perception of polygamists and mormons. And polygamist mormons. If you want a different take on things, you need to read "The Lonely Polygamist" by Barry Udall where the focus is not on the children of polygamist families as in the two other books but on the husband, the one who is often blamed as the bad guy. 

There is nothing bad about Golden. Nothing at all. He is a good, lovely, loveable man but he is also completely incompetent when it comes to decision-making. As the captain of the family, he is useless. Thankfully he has four wives to lean one, although they all wish that he would lean a little less and lead a little more... But seeing as he doesn't, they run the family, deciding how, what, when and where at the weekly Summit of the Wives. If it wasn't for the fact that it is Golden's construction company that brings in the money to fund food and soon to be hand-me-down clothes for the many children, they would do just fine without him. And most of the time they have to because Golden's business means that he has to drive far to work on projects - to their knowledge, he is building a care home for the elderly in the Nevada desert. In reality he is building a brothel. And this is just one of the many worries, that Golden struggles with and that make him so terribly lonely. 

Golden has a constant feeling that he is not doing well enough. He is struggling to finance the lifestyle with the three households and the many many children, he is struggling to live up to the expectations from the church's Elders, he is struggling to get along with his manager, he is struggling not to lust after his manager's wife and he is struggling to reconcile with his past. His life is a house of cards and a tornado is fast approaching. 
So caught up is he in his own trouble that he doesn't notice that of others. His wife Rose-of-Sharon is growing more and more depressed, their son Rusty is being swept away in a current of hormones and his difficulties finding his feet as a teenager is being interpreted as lack of good behaviour. Trish, the most recent wife, is finding it hard to adjust to life as a fourth wife and having to share her husband with other women. The tension builds and builds around the hapless Golden who entirely fails to notice anything but his own troubles. 

It is a stunning book. I read and read and ready and couldn't stop - I was entirely caught up in the lives of the people in this polygamist family. Trish really struck a chord with me as she beat her doubts and emotions into submission to give herself room to live up to expectations.

The way that Udall portrays the polygamist lifestyle somewhat underplays the difficulties and frustrations that it holds and it does come across as slightly more idyllic than I imagine it really is. This is forgivable though because it is necessary to tell the story. It is a love story but it is not about falling in love, it is not about loving because of - it is about loving despite!
It is a about the love not between a man and a woman but the love that binds a family together even though they don't necessarily agree. And as such it is beautiful and enjoyable. As such it also has a strong message: that the love portrayed in countless romantic movies and book is not the only form of love and that we can be happy even though our lives do not conform to the general idea about the perfect life. 

Read it if: You're not afraid to confront your own prejudices. You want to challenge your own perceptions of what the right way of living is. 

Review: "The 19th Wife" - Tales of the 19th Wives

I read "The 19th Wife" - or at least most of it - while on a flight from Iceland to the USA. Long flight = lots of time to read. And luckily the book was really good, enough to keep me occupied for most of the flight. It is a really good book, David Ebershoff really knows how to tell a story.

I have borrowed a summary of the plot from the author's web site http://www.ebershoff.com/ :

"It is 1875, and Ann Eliza Young has recently separated from her powerful husband, Brigham Young, prophet and leader of the Mormon Church. Expelled and an outcast, Ann Eliza embarks on a crusade to end polygamy in the United States. A rich account of a family’s polygamous history is revealed, including how a young woman became a plural wife.

Soon after Ann Eliza’s story begins, a second exquisite narrative unfolds–a tale of murder involving a polygamist family in present-day Utah. Jordan Scott, a young man who was thrown out of his fundamentalist sect years earlier, must reenter the world that cast him aside in order to discover the truth behind his father’s death.

And as Ann Eliza’s narrative intertwines with that of Jordan’s search, readers are pulled deeper into the mysteries of love and faith."

So what we have here is basically a blend of historical fiction about the mormon church and a murder mystery. The historical part is narrated by Ann Eliza Young, a real-life figure, the mystery part is narracted by contruction worker Jordan Scott whose past lies in a church which has broken off from the Mormon church and continued a very oldfashioned religious doctrine. Both parts of the plot had plenty of suspense to keep me reading, it was such a good book. The 19th wife are two persons - Ann Eliza Young is the 19th wife Brigham Young and Jordan's mother is the 19th wife in her household.

Jordan had me fascinated. he was expelled from his church, his family, his life, as a teenager for holding his stepsister's hand and since then he has had to fight his way through life. He is a tough bloke with a soft side and at times I really felt protective of him. However, when his mother is arrested for murder, he heads back to face his past and try to clear his mother's name.

I knew very little about the Mormon church and I did feel like I learnt something about the story of the church. It was really interesting. How the polygamous marriages work are difficult for me to understand but it is fascinating to read about. And to make it even better, the book is well-written, has a great language and really manages to make the characters come to life.

"A Company of Liars" - Truth Will Out

There are so many novels about medieval times but to be honest, I only enjoy a small amount of them. Many of them are either too focused on war or too focused on love and chivalry - or maybe I'm just not that easy to please. So when I was lent "A Company of Liars" written by Karen Maitland I didn't really know what to expect but actually, it was really quite good.

A lone camelot is travelling through medieval England, fleeing the plague and making a living by selling fake relics to naive people at fairs and gatherings. A series of incidents leads to him being joined by several other travellers and toghether they try to avoid the dangers of the road while keeping free of plague-ridden villages. But the people of the travelling party are not at all what they appear to be as it is slowly revealed. A magician with an embalmed merchild, a pregnant woman and her husband, two musicians, a midwife, a story-teller, an old camelot and a strange-looking child. They are all hiding something, however, one of them has a secret that is darker and more vicious than the secrets of all of the others.

I liked it, I really did. I liked the fact that it was not too easy to guess the secrets and how they would impact the travellers. It kept me on my toes guessing and following the plot as it was all unveiled.
If you like "The Owl Killers" by Karen Maitland or "Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follett, you will probably like "A Company of Liars" as well. It paints a picture of the medieval times which is believable yet easy to understand and it's explanation the role of religion in village life is really interesting.